Dr. Heidi Queen, MD | Energize Health & Hormones

Many women have experienced the frustration of leaving a doctor’s appointment feeling unheard, rushed, or with more questions than answers.

Perhaps you’ve been told your symptoms are simply part of getting older. Maybe you’ve been reassured that your lab work looks “normal” even though you know something doesn’t feel right. Or perhaps you’ve spent months—or even years—searching for answers while trying to navigate a healthcare system that often feels too busy to fully understand your concerns. If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There is one powerful tool available to every patient: the ability to become an active participant in their own healthcare. Self-advocacy isn’t about arguing with your doctor, demanding specific treatments, or spending hours diagnosing yourself on the internet. It’s about learning how to communicate your concerns effectively, ask thoughtful questions, and work collaboratively with your healthcare team to achieve the best possible outcomes.

Understanding the Real Challenge

It’s easy to assume that a disappointing healthcare experience means your provider doesn’t care. In reality, most healthcare professionals entered their field because they genuinely wanted to help people. Whether they are physicians, nurse practitioners, naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, or therapists, few healthcare providers envisioned spending their days rushing through appointments and struggling to fit complex health concerns into brief time slots. The challenge is often not a lack of compassion or expertise. The challenge is the system itself.

Modern healthcare frequently places significant time constraints on both patients and providers. Understanding this reality can help shift the conversation from frustration to partnership. Rather than approaching an appointment as a battle to be won, consider approaching it as a collaboration. Your provider brings medical expertise. You bring expertise about your own body, symptoms, experiences, and goals. The most effective healthcare happens when both perspectives are valued.

Prepare Before You Arrive

One of the most important ways to advocate for yourself begins before you even walk through the door. Many women arrive at appointments with a long list of concerns, only to feel overwhelmed once the conversation begins. Having a plan can help ensure that your most important questions are addressed. Before your appointment, consider writing down:

• Your top one to three concerns
• Any symptoms you’ve been experiencing
• How long those symptoms have been present
• What makes them better or worse
• Any specific questions you want answered

Most importantly, think about how you want to feel. Instead of simply describing a symptom, explain how it is affecting your daily life. For example: “I’ve been feeling exhausted.” Becomes “I’m so tired that I’m struggling to get through my workday and no longer have the energy to exercise.” This gives your provider a clearer understanding of how your symptoms are impacting your quality of life.

Be Direct About What You Need

Many women have been conditioned to avoid appearing demanding or difficult. Unfortunately, this can sometimes prevent important concerns from being fully addressed. Advocating for yourself means being respectful, but it also means being clear.

It’s okay to say: “These are the concerns I really want to discuss today.”

It’s okay to say: “I don’t feel like we’ve addressed my biggest concern yet.”

And it’s okay to say: “This symptom is significantly affecting my quality of life.”

Being direct helps your healthcare provider focus their expertise on the issues that matter most to you. Remember, your provider cannot read your mind. The clearer you are about your priorities, the more productive your appointment can become.

Ask About All of Your Options

One of the most empowering questions any patient can ask is: “What are all of my options?” Too often, patients receive a recommendation and assume they must either accept it or reject it. In reality, there may be multiple approaches worth considering. You might ask:

• What are the benefits of this treatment?
• What are the potential risks?
• Are there alternative approaches?
• What happens if we monitor the situation instead?
• How strong is the evidence supporting this recommendation?

Whether you’re discussing menopause symptoms, hormone therapy, medications, preventive screenings, or lifestyle changes, understanding your options allows you to make informed decisions that align with your values and goals.

Know Your Rights as a Patient

Many people don’t realize how much authority they have over their own healthcare decisions. You have the right to:

• Ask questions
• Request clarification
• Seek a second opinion
• Review treatment options
• Decline a treatment or procedure
• Take time to consider your choices

Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean rejecting medical advice. It means fully understanding your choices before making a decision. The best healthcare decisions are often made through shared decision-making, where patients and providers work together to determine the most appropriate path forward.

Use Modern Medicine to Your Advantage

In recent years, some patients have become disillusioned with conventional healthcare and have begun avoiding it altogether. While frustration with the healthcare system is understandable, abandoning preventive care is rarely the answer. Modern medicine offers powerful tools for detecting disease early and improving long-term health outcomes. Women should feel empowered to ask about recommended screenings and preventive services, including:

• Cervical cancer screening
• Mammograms
• Colon cancer screening
• Bone density testing
• Cardiovascular risk assessment
• Routine laboratory testing when appropriate

Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean rejecting conventional medicine. It means making sure you’re receiving the full benefit of what modern medicine has to offer.

Educate Yourself Without Trying to Become Your Own Doctor

The internet has made health information more accessible than ever before. It has also made misinformation more accessible than ever before. Self-education is an important part of self-advocacy, but there is a difference between becoming informed and attempting to self-diagnose. The goal is not to become your own physician.

The goal is to understand enough about your health to ask meaningful questions, recognize potential concerns, and participate actively in healthcare decisions. Reliable education helps patients become better partners in their care. It creates more productive conversations and often leads to better outcomes. When reviewing health information online, seek sources that are evidence-based, transparent, and supported by qualified medical professionals.

The Most Important Voice in the Room

For generations, many women were taught to defer to authority figures, including healthcare providers. While medical expertise remains incredibly valuable, today’s healthcare system works best when patients actively participate in the conversation. You know your body better than anyone else. You know when something feels different. You know when a symptom is interfering with your ability to live your life. Those observations matter.

The most effective healthcare relationships are not built on patients simply following instructions. They are built on trust, communication, curiosity, and collaboration. When women learn to speak up, ask questions, seek information, and participate in decision-making, they become more than patients. They become partners in their own healthcare journey. And that may be one of the most powerful prescriptions of all.

Your Partner in Empowered Healthcare

At Energize Health & Hormones, Dr. Heidi Queen believes that healthcare works best when patients are informed, engaged, and empowered to participate in their own care. Through her concierge primary care and functional medicine practice, she creates the time and space for meaningful conversations—allowing patients to ask questions, explore their options, and develop personalized treatment plans that align with their goals and values.

Whether you’re navigating menopause, addressing a chronic health concern, optimizing your long-term wellness, or simply looking for a healthcare partner who will listen, your voice matters. You deserve to understand your options, feel confident in your decisions, and be an active participant in your healthcare journey.

If you’re ready to take a more proactive role in your health and work with a physician who values collaboration, education, and personalized care, Dr. Queen invites you to learn more about her practice. Together, you can build a healthcare plan that supports not only how you feel today, but your health and vitality for years to come. To learn more and to schedule a consultation call  (415) 548-7901 or use the online appointment form.